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168 « HE subjoined letters taken from The Engineer, London, will doubtless be read with - much amusement by mem- bers of technical societies every- where. Certainly W. Srandish has sent his thrusts home with a skill worthy of Dickens. His humor is rich and his satire none the less effective be- cause it is gentle. Anyone who has sat through the labored reading of a pon- derous paper a quarter of aninch thick, illustrated with numerous diagrams, can appreciate the merriment of his take- off, even if he does burlesque a little pit. Not for many, many months have the sober columns of The Engineer been enlivened by such a. lively wit. Moreover, his moral is clear. Here- with is given an abstract of the first letter as published in The Eygineer, and the letter of Standish which it called forth: Gentlemen: You have sent me a copy of Mr. 's paper and asked me to take part in the discussion. My reply is, "There is nothing to discuss.' You tell me that the paper is a quarter of an inch thick, would take the secretary over two hours to read, has a dozen plates, numerous diagrams in the text, and is illustrated by many samples and specimens. Your statements may be perfect- ly correct, but the fact remains that there is nothing in it to discuss. Your author, I take it, has either no opin- 'ions of his own or he is so timid for his réputation that he dare not put them tto the touch. He quotes well from other people, he describes at considerable length numerous interesting. machines, and he records experi- ments of his own, or tests made for him by unchallengeable authorities. But he _ never, from one cover of his book--jpaper is mis- nomer for such a magnificent production--to the other cover, advances a single statement that will cause flutterings in the hearts of his audience and bring even one of them impulsively to his feet when the signal is _given. ok * * * * * ok * And for your papers, gentlemen. Let me implore you to have them written with a view to discussion. Have them short and pithy, and put descriptions, if descriptions you must have, in appendices. But let the text deal with broad facts and principles that the mind can gtasp, and on which it can form rapid conclusions. Encourage your authors to risk something or find authors who are prepared to do so. Debatable subjects are to be found. "Plenty of subjects going about,' said Uncle Pumble- chook in a very similar connection, "for them that know how to jput salt upon their tails. That's what's wanted. A man needn't go far 'to find his subject if he's ready with his salt-box."' Get a fighting Irishman or two into your midst. Some one who will trail his coat and dare you to tread on it; and when you have got him nourish and encourage him. Wave red rags before the bulls of your company. The greatest political truths and the greatest political events have been hammered out, 'forged, and wrought to perfection by debate, strong, nervous debate, carried on with de- cency that conyention preserves if you will, TAE MaRINE REVIEW A Take-Off on Technical Papers but, still, as unlike your debates as a hawk is unlike a hacksaw. Gentlemen, I return to you Mr. ----'s paper with the suggestion that you should get some one to write you something that could be discussed; and, with apologies for this letter, which is inspired by the simcerest re- gard for your ancient Institution, I ask per- mission to remain, A SILENT MEMBER. Sir: The following particulars of a paper and discussions, which I heard in the latter part of last year, will, perhaps, interest some, of your readers taking part in the correspond- ence now going on in your columns. I went to the meeting at the invitation of a friend. You will remember, no doubt, the estab- lishment about nine years ago of the Insti- tution of Universal Engineers, intended main- ly to consist of men in the drawing office, managers and foremen. The idea was that their desire for a higher measure of education might be stimulated. There are, I under- stand, now about 600 members and associates. The title of the paper was "An Inquiry Into the Asymptotic Influence of the Kinetic Integrated Development of Erasmic. Polar (Curves Raised to the m-th on the Efficiency of the Blades of High-Pressure Turbines,' by Prof. Ebenezer Emilius Saxifrage, D.Sc., of Julius college, Lomanshire. There was a very good attendance, and there were eight members of council present. The president, after some usual routine busi- ness, expressed his regret that Prof. Saxifrage was unable to be present, but the secre- tary would now read the paper. It consisted of 52 pages of close print bristling with formulas, and seven sheets of diagrams. The secretary spent about an hour in picking out bits of text which he read and then sat down. The president said that he felt that the society was to be heartily congratulated on receiving such an extremely valuable paper from a man in so distinguished a position as Prof. Saxifrage's, and he called upon the audience to accord the: author, with acclama- tion, a special vote of thanks. This was given with tumultuous applause. The president then said that the meeting was open for discus- sion, I did not notice that there was any alacrity manifested by members in availing themselves of the president's invitation. After a pause, however, a member stood up in the body of the hall, and was about to speak when the president interfered and requested him to come to the platform. The member said it was unnecessary, as he only wanted to ask a question. After some wrangling, however, he went to the platform, and then said that he only wished to ask some one to tell him whether the over before the seemed to know, took his hat and went away. Another speaker then rose and said that he felt certain that a more valuable paper could not: possibly be written, and for his own part he thanked Prof. Saxifrage for it from the bottom of his heart. He felt that where all was so good it might seem hypercritical, but it seemed to him that the printer had misplaced a bracket on pages 7 and 8. At last train went. No one so he got off the platform, all events, there was an expression _ there, and he found one bracket on page seven near the top and another on page eight near the bottom. Assuming had not made a mistake he that the printer ventured to say discussion was likely to be . June, 1909 with some diffidence that a bracketed quantity which occupied two pages might perhaps be considered unwieldy. This was, however, only a matter of opinion. He would not occupy any more of the time of the meeting, but before sitting down he must again express his grat. itude to the writer. The next speaker, a _ highly enthusiastic young man of large dimensions, wearing huge gold spectacles, said that he was in a po. sition to say that if the meeting could realize the zeal with which Prof. Saxifrage had thrown himself into the turbine question they would have been more than ever cor- dial in the expression of their gratitude. He was proud to say that he had had an interview two or three days before with the professor. He would scarcely be believed, but it was none the less a fact that the professor had assured him that when the paper was written he--the professor--had no idea what- ever of what was inside a turbine casing. He appeared to think that the blades were used to cut the steam up into chunks. Busy man as the professor was, he contrived to spend nearly ten minutes in the speaker's works examining the inside of a turbine, and asking questions, the answers to which he did not appear at the moment to understand, but he took them down in his notebook and would no doubt use them further on. No doubt the ignorance of the professor might not appear at first sight to add to the value of the paper; but it had already been pointed out by one very eminent mathematician that the man who attacked a problem with an open ignorant mind was much more likely to reach a satisfactory solution than a man _ saturated with that prejudice which invariably resulted from an intimate acquaintance with actual facts. When he sat down, a young man--evidently a. student--rose. He said he wanted to ask a question, and, to save time, he proceeded to walk to the platform. He took his hat and umbrella with him and a bundle of papers. At last he reached the platform and_ began, "Mr. President and gentlemen." He then re- ferred to voluminous notes, which he_ held in his left hand. After turning them over for an interminable time and dropping his glasses, he said he was afraid he had left the note he wanted on his seat, and was going back for it when his neighbor picked it up and it was passed from hand to hand to him. He only glanced at it, and without further preface, he said: 'The question I have to ask is simply what is this paper about? I have not the least idea. I see a very full meeting of the council, however, and as they have read the paper and accepted it, they can, no doubt, either collectively or individually, tell me what the n-th of an Erasmic polar curve is, and what use can be made of it in designing turbine blades?" A .faint attempt at applause was promptly checked. The president then said that as no one else wished to speak, he would close the discussion. He had to apologize in some measure for the paper which was to be read at their next meeting, but it had been set up for some time, and the printer wanted the type. It was by no means of the value oF importance of the paper which they had just had the good fortune to hear, being indeed only a short account of experiments made on a new kind of belting, which is a com- pound of fine steel wire and paper. It could not pretend to possess more than a practical interest. The members would find, as usual, tea, coffee and cigarettes in the tea room. I have had, of course, to condense my Te port, but I have accurately enough given the