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eee o PITH AND POINT. —‘Board wanted’’—as the youn lady said when she came to a mu -pud- ile in the side-walk. —There is no power on earth that san make a good citizen of a man who does not work.—New Orleans Philoso- oher. - —*T believe,’ said one man, speake ing of another, ‘that he would do any- shing—even eat succotash in a strange hotel.”” —There appears to be no reason why the English should not now take kindly to that famous American ballad: “John Brown’s body lies moldering in the grave.’’—Boston Post. —Aristocratic ma, chatting with aris= |: tocratic visitor, is interrupted by two little daughters running in: “Oh, ma! ma! we've just seen Uncle Jim! He's upon a wagon, hollerin’ barl’s!”’ —A Piute Princess has just married her twentieth husband. A_ few enter- prising Piute princesses would soon ex- terminate the male portion of the tribe, and save our Government considerable money.—Norristown Herald. —A Western paper has an elaborate article on ‘‘Some Causes of a Monetary Stringency.’’ If there are any new causes we don’t want to hear anything. about them. The old causes are about all we care to wrestle with.—N. ¥. Graphic. —A gentleman who has been think- ing of buying a hack, having visited a menagerie, comes home radiant with joy. “I’m going to buy one of them ze- bras,” he says: ‘one of those rifled horses. They must carry much further than the ordinary sort!” —A man has invented a chair that can be adjusted to 800 different posi- tions, and yet a man who. suspected his wife was going to ask him where he was the night before couldn’t get into a position in that. chair which seemed comfortable.— Boston Transcript. —Latin in a drug store must come down. The froen boy eens the druggist’s trade has too good a chance to poison customers by mistake where everything is covered by a language he does not understand. edicine should be taken in straight English.—wW. 0. . Picayune. —A ‘longshoreman entered a. coffee and cake saloon in Barclay street on Friday, and, after eating a plate of fish cakes, called for ‘‘a cup ov co%ee an’ pace ov poi.’’ ‘“Vot kind uf py?’ asked the German attendant. ‘Quinz poi.’’ ‘‘Mintz?”’ ‘No, quinz, ye thick- headed Dutchman. DoI look loike a man that ’ud ate mate on Friday?”’— N. Y. Herald. —No, gentle Cockney, the George Washington, of whom you seem to have heard for the first time, was never ‘‘a *orse breeder.’’ We have an indistinct recollection, however, that on one oc- easion he took a Bull by the horns and, as the Irishman said, ‘‘gave him a good baiting.’ George was rather a genius in that line, and if you will look the story up when you return to ‘Hold Hingland” you will find some reference to him in the British archives.— Chicago Herald. —_—_——-2 He Had Him There. While David Davis was dining one day at Wormley’s with some friends, among whom was the slim Mr. Evarts, the conversation drifted to athleti¢ sports and foot-races. Mr. Evarts,with a view to one of his sareastic jests, turned to the great trunk alongside of him, from which he himself may be sup- posed to have been whittled off as a sliv- er, and suggested that such sports were something entirely out of his line. “Well, Evarts,”’ replied Judge Davis, “perhaps you think [can’t run? Now, jook here, V'1l bet you a case of wine I ean beat you a hundred yards if you Will let me choose my ground and _ will give me five yards start. I'm heavy, you know, and I want solid footing.” Mr. Evarts was satisfied that he ‘had a dead-sure thing,’ and as the evening had advanced the dignified company resolved to unbend itself still further for the sport. “Come on, then,” shouted the Senator, ‘follow me!’ So away they went down a narrow alley that runs between Twelfth and Thirteenth streets. Marching into it far a distance of five yards, while his arms touched the brickwork on each side, he quietly observed: ‘*Now, Evarts, get in behind me, and take your time. Tam going to sake mine!’’— Washinglon Critic. The teeth perform the duties of the tongue when they chatter. The peor man with an idea of poverty is no worse off than a rich man witha poverty of ideas, CANFIELD Wrecking & Towing Line, MANISTEE, MICH. ——I—. Tugs, Hawsers, Lighters, Steam Pumps, Lifting Screws, &e., . 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Kooks of this kind generally cost $3.00, but we will send it to an address, postage paid for $1,50, or with the MARINE RECORD for one year, both for only $3.25. Address MARINE RicorD. Cleveland 0. CONSUMPTION POSITIVELY CURED All sufferers from this disease that are anxious to be | cured should try DR KISSNER’S CELEBRATED CONSUMPTION POWDERS, Thes* Powders are the | only preparation known that will cure consumption | and all viseases of the THROAT and LUNGS—indeed, | so strong is our faith in them, and al-o to convince you | that thev are no humbug, we will forward to every | sufferer, by mail, post paid, « Free Trial Box Wedo ’t want your money until you are perfectly sat- isfied of their cur owers, If your life is worth | saving, don’t del: ing these POWDERS a trial | as they will sure le Price, for large Box, $ 8 for $10 00. Sent | to any part of the Unit-d States or Canada, by mail, on | receipt of price Address ASH & ROBBINS. 360 Fulton St.. Brooklin, N. Y. 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